Innaalillaahi wainnaa ilaihi raaji’un

I am sorry if what I have said has nothing to do with the death of a person

These words are directed to my self who have tried to suicide

by killing my time for nothing both intentionally and unintentionally

during my lives that God has already given to me

 

Innaalillaahi wainnaa ilaihi raaji’un

These words are just to remind me

that we will be returned to Him, the Almighty

For around two third of my life (if God gives me 60 years of life)

I feel I have been so ignorant with His messages

spreading over more than 6000 verses

I do read His revelation, but I have failed to grasp the message

These words are indeed to remind me

Because ….

I have ignored so many people in need

I have spent my age for bad deeds

I have lost my prime time, my youth, the time when I had the capacity and energy to accomplish many good deeds

and I do not know what I have to answer relating to four questions in the Day of Judgment as the Prophet said “about his age and how he spent it, about his youth and how he used it, and about his wealth and how he acquired it and spent it, and about his knowledge and what he did with it”  

 

Though so many times Allah swears by the time and the moment of time

and His warnings follow it

I always ignore and disobey

I often read Surah Ad-Duha

Where He swears by the Glorious Morning Light

And He warns me that Hereafter is better than this world,

and I believe this

But … I remain to be a stubborn man

Since I have never tried to grasp the genuine meaning behind His warning

I also often read Surah Al ‘Asr

Where He swears by the time (the afternoon)

And “Indeed the human being is in loss” as His warning follows it

Once again I was also so ignorant with what I have read

 

Astaghfirullaahal adziim

Oh … Allah

Please forgive me for being “kufr” to what You have given to me

You have given me a lots of bounty

House, car, status, good job, good education

and everything I have

But I never thank You

Indeed, I do always say Alhamdulillah

But .. is it enough for You?

 

 

Astaghfirullaahal adziim

Oh .. Allah

Please forgive me for being deaf

to listen Your revelations when they are read

Please forgive me for being blind

to see the truth

Please forgive me for being dumb

to speak “the right is right and the wrong is wrong”

Please forgive me for being disabled

to deliver Your messages

and to act righteously

 

Astaghfirullaahal adziim

Oh .. Allah

Please forgive me for being arrogant to You

For being arrogant to Your messenger

For being arrogant to other people

as arrogant is only Your right

 

Astaghfirullaahal adziim

Oh .. Allah

Please forgive me

For every sin I have done in the past

And for every sin in the future

As You are the only One who is the Most Forgiver

 

Astaghfirullaahal adziim

Oh … Allah …. is it enough by only saying these words to ask for Your forgiveness?

 

 

By: Ali Said

     This page is my personal reflection